Why People Change

What are the usual or common reasons why people really change?

Can you answer that question within five seconds?

Did it happen to you somehow?

Do you have any close friends that seem distant to you nowadays?

Are you aware that some of them, even your cousins or former classmates are also different now compared to the persons they used to be five, ten, or twenty years ago?

Did you notice that some of them now seem like a total stranger to you and to everyone?

That you can’t actually believe that somehow they’ve actually changed. It is “kinda” sad to admit that we really do have friends (former friends) that we can’t have a jolly, funny, carefree talk just like the old times. Well, that’s the sad reality. People do change eventually. It is just up to us if we want to stay connected to the people around us. If we think that they are worthy of our time, trust, energy, friendship, love, and care, of course, we will do our best to stay with them.

We wouldn’t let the communication end. And we will definitely try anything to save the friendship. Am I right? But sometimes even if we already did our best effort, somehow they couldn’t see it. They couldn’t feel it. The worst is they simply choose to ignore you even if you’ve done nothing against them.

You will now ask yourself what on earth had happened?

Then there will be many “whys” now that running in your head. Then it starts to pain because your mind couldn’t find anything; even the tiniest reasons why those specific friends of yours are now distant to you and to others.

They seem unreachable now while they are the call-me-anytime-even-at-2am-kind of a friend. Accept it dearly. You already knew the answer. Okay, let me tell you. It is because obviously, they are not that person anymore that you used to love, care and treated as a dear friend.

They’ve changed already. We can’t do anything about it but accept and respect their decisions. Maybe they think that would be for the better. You are now left behind asking all the reasons why they’ve changed.

Let me tell you now the basic reasons why people change unconsciously and sometimes intentionally. Probably some of them are unaware that they are now different from the person or way they used to be. But some choose to change purposely anyway. Why? They definitely have reasons. Reasons that they thought deemed acceptable and necessary. Reasons that they think is a must for them to be able to survive every sunrise until the sunsets. If you will let yourself better observe and understand the people around you, especially those who are closest to you, you will see and find out that they do really have valid reasons. And if you think you want them to stay in your life anyway, you have to get to know them again and understand them better. Maybe there’s still a way for you and your friends to have that connection again. One thing that’s probably their reason is that maybe they have been hurt a lot. Maybe they have been experiencing hardships, difficulties, trust issues with somebody that leads and pushed them to change towards you or to everybody. Maybe they can’t handle the betrayal from their loved ones or even from their family members.

Sometimes when a person has experienced being hurt again and again, over time they will think that they have to change. Change that they think is a must that sometimes they will build a wall that is inaccessible and impenetrable even by those who have not hurt them. People also change maybe because they’ve already learned a lot. Learned from hundred mistakes. Learned from broken promises. Learned from repetitive disappointments. There are a lot more possibilities. So, the task now is yours

Are you still willing to give it a try again? Try to re-build the bridge towards them? To light up the path so that they could see you again? Or are you ready to totally give up on them, let them be, and just move on with your life disconnected from them? Think wisely. Think twice. Even thrice. Maybe your friends are just waiting for you.

Who knows, they may be a different person now but if you really think they still have a rightful place in your heart as your friend, there’s nothing wrong if you do the work. Maybe you just have to understand them a lot better as I mentioned a while ago. Maybe they need you to help them to be the person they used to be again. Maybe you could save them. There’s a lot of “maybes”.

So try your best to understand why some of your friends or the people around you suddenly change.

“Be patient. Be kind. Be more observant”.

People change because of certain reasons. Uncover them and lend a helping hand, comfort them if possible or just let them see and feel that you’re always there for them.

A friend that is ready to listen anytime they need. Remember that we are all only human. Humans that are capable of feeling being loved or hurt could lead us to change. So try to pay more attention to your loved ones, friends, classmates if you really care about them

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